$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
