R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
