I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
