No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
