Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
