help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
