if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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