can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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