You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
