If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
