it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
worst night to have a conscience
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
