At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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