dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
