I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
