who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Congratulations! We have a period
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
