so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
