He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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