Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
