so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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