Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will be naked everywhere
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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