i'm signing you up for texting rehab
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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