he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
