Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
