When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
