Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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