So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
