Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wow bdsm is so cute
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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