i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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