I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
