That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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