And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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