your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
farters have to be the big spoon...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
