I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
