it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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