She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
