their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
