you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize