if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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