R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its not stalking. its research.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
