Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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