I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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