I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
