OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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