he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
