Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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