Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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