We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
