well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
