Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
