It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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