brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
